The one thing I think everyone (including myself) has yet to learn is that relationships are hard. I’ve had a pretty rough last few days with my SO, and I have to tell you that it takes a lot out of me. My philosophy has always been that you can’t let them see how much the situation is really bothering you, even if it is a lot; and I know that’s terrible advice but if I don’t act invincible then is he really going to take me seriously?
I guess I’m still learning is that if I don’t tell him how I’m feeling there’s no way for him to know; he’s not a mind reader & neither am I. However what I’m struggling with is the part where I actually tell him how I’m feeling, and let’s be honest sometimes he doesn’t want to hear it so I don’t get to; and that’s what’s so hard for me. When he just shuts me down why would I want to continue to try to explain how he’s making me feel? I’m terrible at hiding my feelings… so when I don’t get to share what I feel it slowly eats me alive.
I mean, I like to believe that I’m tough and nobody can hurt me but realistically I wear my heart on my sleeve and it be a blessing or a curse, depending on the situation I’m in. I guess I just have to figure out when it’s time to cage my heart and when it’s time to use it. Balance, communication and trust are key to make this all work out for me, and it looks like I’ve got two out of three down. That’s good though, right?